I like Mother’s Day. I even like most mothers. I loved mine. I love the mother of my children. I probably don’t like Mother’s Day the same way as florists, greeting card companies, jewelers, restaurants, department stores and many other businesses that smile broadly and profit greatly from this holiday. I just think it’s a great idea to say thanks to Mom--especially if you have somehow neglected to say it over the last 364 days.
Most people probably like Mother’s Day. But not everybody does. For some among us, this is a painful day. It underscores an experience of disappointment or guilt or grief. Though it is essentially a day of cherished love; for some, it is also a day of remembered loss. More than anything else, they would love to be celebrating this day, but they cannot. The Hallmark cards that are most meaningful to them are found in a different section of the store, perhaps in the sympathy or comfort category.
As we are bombarded with Mother’s Day advertisements, stories on television and in the newspaper, who among us might be particularly pained? Whose silent wounds are cut even deeper during this season? Here’s a brief list, though I know it is incomplete:
Women (and men) who are infertile; mothers whose children died before birth, at birth or at any other age; mothers whose children are seriously ill and dying right now; mothers who are saddened by how life has turned out for their children; mothers who feel guilty or are burdened by the strain of being a parent; children (of all ages) whose mothers are dying or have died; children whose relationship with their mother is or was not pleasant nor healthy—and I could begin the list again with reference to grandmothers and the variety of their experiences and emotions on Mother’s Day. Certainly, men also lament the loss of women who have played important roles in their lives.
Am I saying we ought to boycott Mother’s Day? No way! I already said that I like Mother’s Day and most mothers. I’m just suggesting that it is possible for families and friends to celebrate this holiday with great joy while also remembering that not everyone is experiencing the event the same way. Let us be lovingly and sensitively aware of those about us whose hearts are heavy even when ours are light.
Here’s my Mother’s Day prayer for all women: May God, who comforts like a mother comforts her child, bless you today in all the ways you need. May you feel safe with your sadness, confident of His compassion, assured that if no one else understands, He does. Even if this can’t be a happy Mother’s Day, may God find a way to make it meaningful, loving and somehow blessed in a special way for you.
Dennis Lynn
Redwood Church
