April 18, 2007
Dear Abby: I suffer from food sensitivity. Recently, during an important yearly service at a church my daughter and I have not attended for long, I had some extremely loud and embarrassing gastrointestinal symptoms from having accidentally eaten something cooked in soybean oil at a restaurant. This disturbance lasted more than 15 minutes, and everyone in our small church could hear it. I am now embarrassed to return to church. Is there any way to save face in this situation?
IT WAS THE SOYBEANS!
Dear Soybeans: When the flatulence started happening, you should have stepped outside until it subsided. However, because your concern is your fear of being remembered as the flatulent woman, you have no choice but to go back to church and give them something positive to remember.
Okay, let’s get this out of our system. Some of you smiled when you read this poor woman’s plight. Some of you laughed out loud. Some of you didn’t laugh at all because you’re either more mature than that or you relate all too well to this individual’s indignity. Bottom line, you’ve had your share of indigestion indiscretions in church and in stores and in restaurants and infinitum.
But let’s clear the air. Because I have rarely met-a-phor I didn’t like, what if this woman’s indelicate expressions of internal distress symbolized all of the ways all of us bring our internal distresses and external messes to church? If people are embarrassed to come to church because parts of their life really stink, where else can they go? When their stomach is tied up in knots, when their discomfort is almost unbearable, where will they turn to seek relief, if not here?
The Great Physician had no aversion to men with leprosy or women with hemorrhaging issues or people like Lazarus, who might smell like death. He felt no dis-ease with anyone diseased—physical or spiritual. May we approach those whose lives have a scent of stench with welcome and comfort and ease. The fellowship of the flatulent is for all who have stunk up their lives and fallen short of the glory of God.
Dear Lord: I suffer from sin sensitivity; sometimes sin insensitivity. Recently, I was at church and people all around me became uncomfortably aware of what unsettling things I had been partaking of. When it broke from me, I couldn’t find a place to hide. I could tell I had really messed up their sanitized environment. I don’t think I could ever go back, now that they know what I’m capable of doing.
VENTING IN CHURCH!
Dear Venting: I honor honest expression. I want to know what you’re feeling, even when it’s hard to bear. I encourage you to return to the scene of their crime. Don’t worry about those old…hearts. You don’t have to go back and make a positive impression. You already are one. Your life is a fragrant aroma to me.
Dennis Lynn
Redwood Church
